By and large, my half century has given me grace because I spend a lot of time in gratitude mode. So as I move from passion project of 10+ years, to a profession of yoga travel, retreats & early retirement, there are heartbreaking bumps along the way.
The first came when my scheduled Bali retreat could not happen this November. In love & denial all summer, I kept thinking things would improve. But hallast. I hadn’t finished my website or recruited anyone. Embarrassed, I reached out to my sagacious mentor, Richard, at Heaven in Bali. It killed me to cancel. Richard was kind, encouraging and reminded me that he & Lita will be there when readiness meets my ambition.
So that one chink preemptively led to others. At first begrudgingly, I went back to working full time, but then returning to myself I was grateful for my new school experience, continued support of my family and my little flat in Maadi. Remorseful that I was breaking our secret promise of no more earthdays apart, I still had to go. Definitely wasn’t plan a; but damn good plan b. And everybody let me go like I was the only one disappointed.
So as the more real mourning of loss approached, I had to decide how to make the most of my negotiated days. Shining in the abyss was the gem of ideation gratitude…turn the time into a celebratory surprise thank you for myLove and hit the durtySouth network with a bit of marketing.
Iyasus has been there. Intrigued and encouraging. From before the interviews when I was redefining the expat dream & whether he rolled with or not. Yes, he sided with my dreams, with that kind of 360° support. Such a demonstration of faith is not small in my book. And many things continue to change while separate from family & living overseas. We are very different. But he’s never not worked for Us to Be (except once); united ethereally and in our Scorpio shenanigans, we do a’ight.
Taking a bit of time to tighten the ATL network was a part of it, but the real deal was to surprise him for his earthday. LilBean & Shaq stepped up to float the story of the “aunt & uncle in need of a logo” to bring him on home to me (shout out Air BnB).
“You came 19 hundred hours for me, Empy? I thought my eyes were tricking me.” Was all the affirmation I needed. Ras knew I felt like a loser. But he also knows I lose less than most and smile through every devastation. His happiness and patience with my jetlag became mine too. I could heal from the loss of my first international retreat. And we did just that. Quietly. Together. Back to Center.
This Rilke quote has supported me through so many transitions. And having a partner who lives the love of questions, language of ART and welcoming of the unknown is making me a better business woman and mate. After all, what more can we do? Smart money is on a recipe something like: give thanks, project our true aspirations, remember you’re not alone, love the thorn as much as the rose and commit to “Live Everything.”