Upon repatriating from beautiful Jamaica back to American life in New Orleans, I have had some growing pains, and times for reflection. Working part time, learning a new place. Loving previous spaces and experiences with people I call family. I count it all joy. Detroit is my original home. NOLA is home, too. Atlanta will always be a home. And having loving cousin, awesome few friends & colleagues, and Ras is a reason to know, like most places I choose, I have a home.
New Orleans brings me joy. Life. Exploration. New-ish to mothering an adult, she gave me her old car. Lol. I like how this is working out. But you know me, I have questions.
In this whole year, I have been deeply reading, researching and sometimes speaking about menopause. We all hear about hot flashes, but not much else. And my experience with it, first as a witness–the 16 year old me, with a Mama–“trippin””. And now as a part of my own “midlife magnificence”. I have reached out to colleagues and sisterfriends. I wan to know the intellectual more and medical less, to ask what to expect, how to handle, when does it end. I have been given good words of wisdom, plant medicine, bush tea (eye miss JAMAICA SOOOOO), readings, and prayers. I eat well and really just have enjoyed the time to marvel at the human experience. This too, is menopause.
Time has given me space to think deeply about who I am. I hope that all of us make time for an exploration. Although it is sometimes frustrating to her, my new college graduate daughter is not always happy with this time of liminal space. I guess none of us dig it all the time. But you know, From student to adult. And the “joys” of adulting. What?! Yes…the bomb that shatters any remains of blissful childhood. Yeah, that part.
But I encourage her to get a pocket money gig, for now. But to spend this in between time to really think deeply about what she loves enough to do for money. And then find a way to do it, earning a living and being her own boss. She’s not using her education to work for others long term. She has been this way for years. But you know, this is not the advice I was raised with (late 60’s baby, early 90s professional). I believe what I say, even when I am filled with trepidation. That is my faith at work. The psychology of mastering one’s self may be her best client story, ehver. She even got us an excellent business coach. I’m trying, but She really GOT THIS mind for business. She just worries because she is a planner, and doesn’t see the how.
So I use my daughter’s amazing journey to fuel my own. But dayum, I always got questions. Even the Baba at Haus of Hoodoo spoke through the Ancestors for a sista to hear. With my hood-level Spanish, I could catch most of it. “?por que estas aqui? Something something trabajo something something sabes y tienes poder.” But the translator jumps in. Clears his throat (is he suppressing a laugh?!) “He said, “Why are you here? Do the work. You know how and you have the power.”
There was more. Still in my ‘amygdala before neocortex’ mode, this wasn’t right in my soul, I left unhappy. It only took me a few hours to get clear and admit: I was unhappy because I knew that was what I needed to hear. I just couldn’t be the one saying it. And me not controlling, but allowing Spirit in was and is my every answer. Liminal Spaces.
Apparently, sometimes ‘can’t nobody tell my ass nothin” lol, so, finally. Finally, I sat my galavanting ass down somewhere and started BEing the work. The Spiritwork. Stillness + Ritual. Meditating with Movement. The zone of where real answers come from for me. Smudging, libations, writing, purging, praying, reflecting, enjoying. Being grateful and nurturing abundance. Seeing my loved ones, catching up with loved ones online, going to Youtube church at New Horizon and sangin’ along! Freeing the mind. Accepting the seen and unseen. Affirming and Listening. Dancing–being my best me. Vulnerable and Different, Me.
Growing, I focused to really hear from the asking. My sis Alex reminded me, “Lorena, don’t ask what to do. Ask God where he needs you. You know what to do.” And with all this armor. I just ask, “God please. I know. Everybody been telling me. Just continue to guide my SpiritWalk.” A 5W+H reflection is a simple enough starter focus. Give Thanks. Write freely. Braindrain. Read it or don’t. Let YOU flow.
Who Am I?….as a mother…as a lover…as a worker… as an owner…?
When is Alafia4Wellness going to come to financial fruition…what can i do to really serve the communities I am in…and earn more…?
Why am I feeling inconsistent with Spirit…how can I listen more clearly to my Spirit guides…and be consistent with the habits that empower me…?
What should I look in on more…the interests I have are marketable…what can I say better…where is the research I need to elevate…?
Where can I show up more meaningfully…what service activity will I engage next…which local and international opportunities are best for who am i now…can i merge them successfully…?
How close am I to being financially free…retired from the classroom…teaching in a new business way…being my own good, living wage & awesome benefits…is my next vacation nearby?
So whatever you do, at this age–at any age in this beautiful skin, this brilliant mind, this body temple–Do what you do. Do what matters. When you are purposeful, everything fosters who you are. I am all about becoming. And I believe in Alafia–peace for Wellness. Peaceful Wellness. I have seen the powers of healing and wellness in our lives and generations. When harness our energetic resources, we soar.
We can be deliberate with our eating, our air quality, our stress reduction, our exercise, our positivity. I am always working on more ways to heal. More modalities for peaceful living to share. And they are Coming SOON to an alafia4wellness lover like YOU. Tell Allllll Yo People. Firing UP to warm the way for this BlkWoman-owned always evolving business and life! I got plans and no plans. I am guided. I am Free.
SiMone pops in my inbox with her divine direction and sends me numbers, food for thought and time to hear myself talking out of my goodness in slight phrasing. “The Principle of Mentalism”, her spideysenses knew a Sis was in need. These are small blessings that matter big time.
When I come to my blog, I come clean and comfy because I am myself here, too. Truly, I believe humanity has many important things in common. We want to love and nurture ourselves and our families. We are cultured. We are participants in dynamic, soulful experiences with people, nature, animals. We are blessed to do what we do–whether it is think, read, cook, move, breathe, walk, write, or laugh. We are more than jobs and roles. We are wise stewards of our blessings. We give thanks regularly, but can do more. We are the help we seek when we are out of balance or alignment. And when we need external help, we have courage and access to that too.
Whatever you do today, find some alignment. For me it is more of a circle, but whatever. DM me for life and spiritual coaching, a yoga-meditation series or any of our other Alafia products and services. Or just throw a comment to say ‘Heyyyy Nah’, below. I appreciate you and your time. And look forward to our coming greatness, separately and together. Soarrrrrrrr!